Darkness
by yasiko
Summary: Jounouchi is slowly going blind. this is a story told in his words, with him telling you of his experiences, of his sickness and his love of Seto kaiba. watch as his life is turned upside down, and all of his lies twist into a tangled web he can't get out
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, so fuck off.

**Chapter one: Pain Wells**

Have you ever felt like, for a moment, time stopped? I guess I'm not being very specific…. Like the air in your lungs stopped moving, the blood stopped flowing, like your entire world had come crashing down, and yet, no one noticed? Well I did. On February 21st, in my doctors office, where he informed me of my condition.

It's not what you're all thinking, no broken bones, and no mental illnesses. Nope. It was something I thought I'd never have to deal with again. Something I had put behind me, long forgotten. Something I had never ever thought could happen to me.

You wanna know, don't you? Well, if you're that interested I might as well tell the entire story…

Every story needs an introduction I suppose. My name is Jounouchi Katsuya, I'm 17, my best friend happens to be three feet smaller than me, my worst enemy is the hunkiest hunk on the planet, I'm still in high school and, apparently, going blind.

"Now, I need you to fill out these forms and to check in at the hospital in two weeks." A voice said from somewhere behind me. I knew who it was; I had seen his face once a year since I was small. It was an old and wrinkled face, on a small and ancient body. But no matter how much Dr. Nelson's body bent over and his hair turned gray, the twinkle in his eyes never left him. At the age of 69, he was still working and loving every minute of it. It was that twinkle that made him take the lollipop from him when they first met. And in a month I'd never see that twinkle again.

"Jou, if you would please take into consideration…your health…. I know your family doesn't have the money to have the required tests done, but…Jou? Jou are you listening to me?" I blinked and turned around to see Dr. Nelson wrinkle his brow and reach out and touch my forehead.

"It's nothing doc. I was just in a daze." I mumbled and push his hand away. The perfect excuse. No one ever questions you on what you were thinking about. Not that I have much to think about. Anymore at least. My future's blown so, really, I haven't got a care. I won't need to go to college, I mean, I'm not about to start kidding myself and think that I might be able to actually make it through this. Come on, me, blind. Those two just don't compute.

"You've know for a year that this could happen Jou." He stated and shook his head, "I worry about you, you know." He said smiling softly.

Yeah, and for that whole year I thought, 'what the hell? Why worry, never going to happen to me, right?' right, never gonna happen. Its not like I took a bloody hint when I found out about my sister, noooo, I had to brush it off and be over confident and cocky. Damn personality, couldn't I have gotten another one? Can I pick a new one out of a hat? Maybe suicidal? Or rebel? Or invisible?

I frown and jump off the examination table, "yeah well...don't. I don't need your sympathy." I mutter pushing past him, and slipped out the door. Guess you gotta stick with what you got, eh?

Wandering down a dirty dark alleyway really gets you to thinking. When I look at the shit on the street, it reminds me of how little I own and how much of that is really worth something. Which equals out to be about….nothing, nadda, zip, zilch. I have absolutely nothing of value. Unless you wanna count the many rats living in my walls…

I kick an old empty can, and it skidded down the ally, to rattle to a stop against a grimy dumpster.

The darkness was almost like a screen, or blanket, take your pick. It felt really heavy, like it was adorned with weights. My shoulders slumped and I knew I appeared like those bums and drunks that you always saw on the side of the roads. Maybe I'll become one of them, begging for money, and to take pity on the blind boy.

….like hell.

"It's just not fair"

I hear the voice and I know who says it, but the thick and deep sound of pain in the voice shocked me enough to raise my fingers to my face, and feel the wetness of tears on my cheek. Great, now I was crying, I haven't cried since I last saw dad, which was what…..a year ago?

"It's just not fair" I sob out, and sit down heavily in the alleyway. The dirt billows out around me, and settles on my clothing like a cape, a cape that symbolizes all the difficult challenges that I went through, and are to come. Oh great, here comes the self pity.

"It's not fair."

Feelings just get in the way. That's why you can't get close to anyone, because sooner or later your going to leave, and they're going to be hurt.

"come on Jou, what's the matter? You can't keep shutting us out…." God the little guy was persistent. Maybe I shouldn't have come to school today.

I waved him off and gave my prize winning smile. No one ever said lying with out a voice was really lying. At least I don't think so….

I leaned down and poked him on the nose.

" what makes you think anything's wrong? Huh Yugi?"

A slow and hesitant smiled curved his lips, and he shoved me away. Yes! Dodged the bullet again, no wounds this time.

" Aww, its nothing Jou, you just looked so lost is all ." He giggled and ran back to his desk. Gosh he was just too… innocent, it was almost sickening.

I slumped back down into my desk and looked around. A few minutes to the bell and still only half the class were inside, I guess another day of detention slips and red faced yelling was ahead of us. Of course I'm normally the one receiving the burnt of them but this time, for bloody once, I was the first one to class. Of course arriving before even the janitors had come to unlock the doors isn't something to be proud of, but, I can really only go from one extreme to the next, I've gotten used to it. For future reference, you should too.

The one disturbing and beyond annoying thing, that I'm sure your going to find is hilarious and very expected, was that Seto Kiba, the bane of my existence, was sitting on the steps of the school, at five in the morning, waiting patiently for the doors to be unlocked. No wonder he was the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, the prick never slept! The bloody bastard had the balls to sneer at me, I tried to twist my lips into a sneer as well, but failed and I just looked away. I knew he stared at me for sometime, till he turned back to his book, that looked like…manga, maybe, I hadn't paid that much attention. Once you catch sight of his lips, really, your attention slips.

What was worst was he decided to sit right beside me today, so he heard everything that went on between Yugi and me. All morning the building feelings pushed against the pipes that symbolized my resistance. I prayed to Kami that they stayed stable, at least till the end of the day. Great, now he was staring at me. The prickly feeling covered my neck and I almost shuddered at the tingling that ran from the base of my spin to the top of my head. How dare he, he has no right to look at me like that!

One: I was positive he was straight.

Two: he's never given more than contempt to me.

And three; the curiosity act was making my stomach churn with the need to break down.

I turned to him and glared, trying to make him go away. Obviously it was a horrid attempt. Because he just looked back, just as blank and empty his eyes were. Never had he looked at me with emotion.

" what?" I hissed, hoping he got the hint that I really wasn't in the mood to talk to him, Just looking in his direction sent my nerves and hormones on edge. In my brain I was on my hands and knees, begging Kami he'd go back to his 'ignore Jou' mood.

" you look like you slept in a dumpster, mutt. What happened?"

**mission failure, hint not taken, self destruct in three seconds. **My brain screamed in its small confines.

_3_

I was taken aback. Yeah, so I fell asleep in the alleyway after crying my heart and soul out onto the dirt floor, that did not mean I hadn't gone home and changed! I even stood in the shower and practically drenched myself in soap**! I brushed my hair this morning!**

_2_

" its none of your fucking business, now is it Kiba?" my voice cracked.

"oh, so the mutt does bite eh?" he snapped back.

_1, self destruction in progress._

You know what comes after that, don't you? Yep, you guessed it, the plumbing finally broke. The nuts went flying, water went spraying and, the one thing I wanted to avoid, tears pushed up on my eyes to leak out. Just fucking great, no?

I stood up, pushing my chair so forcefully it tipped over. I must have pushed that chair pretty freaking hard because the next thing I noticed, the room went eerily quite. Or another possibility was that I'd accidentally yelled at Kiba instead of hiss. When the girls began to giggle and whisper behind their delicate hands, I picked the latter.

With hands over my mouth and tears running down my face I speed out of the room like a bullet leaving the barrel. Great, now everyone will know… there'll be questions, and jokes, and the worst of all…pity.

Then it hit me,

Oh my fucking god I just cried in front Kiba.

I really shouldn't have gone to school today.

Thanks a bunch for reading and if you likey, write a review and tell me!

Love your annoyingly in your face author, yasiko!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: broken windows.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh, 'cuse if I did they'd all be gay.

All that I could really tell, was that my body hurt all over. Of course it was quite obvious considering I had bashed my knee on the desk, and my ribs on the water fountain, and my elbow on the door, and I think I might of given myself a concussion on the sink rim. That can't be good.

My reflection in the bathroom mirror didn't look anything like the one I stared at this morning. my hair was swept over my face, covering parts of my brown eyes and made them look hollow and sorrowful. Shadows covered half my face, 'course the fact that I hadn't turned any lights on didn't help. My lips twisted into a thin line, and tracks of waters coursed down my face. All in all I looked like a freaking cry baby with many undealt-with issues.

Someone knocked on the door. I spun around to look and see who it was when I remember that I had locked the door. That means its probably someone wanting to know what the hell happened back in class. Yeah, like I'm going to tell anyone.

" mutt, open the damn door."

I groaned and slumped back over the sink. this is So not happening. I had hoped it would be someone easily diverted, I mean, if you mention hormones to Yugi he blushes and agrees with everything you say! You'd think he was in love or something.

…. Lets not go into that…

More knocking, " mutt…you in there?"

Like hell I'm going to answer him! I push off the sinks rim and walk slowly over to the door. I just wanted to see if he would stay, its not like I was going to let him in or anything, I wasn't an idiot.

" let me in."

"no" he didn't sound like he was about to go away anytime soon. Just my luck. It didn't help that the tears hadn't seemed to stop. They continued to fall, soaking my shirt and dripping off my nose onto the floor.

"fine, we'll talk through the door then."

I slumped against the door and rested my forehead on the wood.

"just go away Kaiba. You can't do any good."

A growl of frustration could be heard through the door.

" well, then I'll do some bad." He sounded angry. Good, then it'll be easier to drive him off.

"whatever the hell your going through, you better get over it mutt. Because the twerp is crying, needle head is bitching at me and the queen of corny outfits is going on about friendship and shit. I couldn't stand it so I went after you." He rattled the handle, " so let me in the freaking bathroom, so I can beat you to a bloody pulp to knock some sense into you."

Okay, so maybe I was being a bit childish, and maybe if I had come up with some believable lie he might have forgotten all about it and left me alone. But no, I had to blow up! The amount of emotions running through me must have reached its peak, and exploded, because the next thing I new, I was pounding on the door, and screaming.

" **you bloody bastard! You think that its as easy as that! You can't just punch me and think my feelings and my pain is going to go away. Snapping you rich fingers ain't gonna make it better**!" I slumped down to my knees.

" **I'm in so much deep shit! There no way for me to wiggle my way out of this like the last time! I can't just sneak onto a boat and win a ruddy tournament! Not again!"**

" what the hell are you going on about, you stupid mutt!" he snarled.

"**what's the point in going on when you can't even watch your little sister grow up? Huh Kaiba? How would you feel if you weren't allowed to watch Mokuba grow up, what if your eyes were taken away and you never got to see his face again**!"

Silence reached me. I pounded a little more on the door, while hiccupping with pain from yelling and crying at the same time.

"I'm never going to see it Kaiba, never." I sobbed into my hands and curled forward, subconsciously protection myself.

" Jou… open the door."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You'd never think escaping through a bathroom window would be so hard? But as I scrambled out of the bathroom, tearing my clothing on the broken glass, I realized. It was quite hard. Of course I didn't let Kaiba in. after he asked me to let him in, my mind came back from where ever it had gone, damn fickle mind, anyway. I had just kinda, jumped up, yelled some more then tried to pry the window open. It obviously didn't work because I ended up taking my shoe and smashing the window. So with one shoe on, I ran across the school grounds, dodging the picnic tables and the kids skipping. Getting looks while I did so.

God damn Kaiba…. First he makes me blow up in class, then break down to him in a washroom, and then have to pay a fine for breaking school property. A fine, I most assuredly don't have the money for.

So what if I kind of left him banging his shoulder against the washroom door, bellowing for me to wait and listen to him. And so what if I kind of told him if he loved me he'd leave me alone?

I stopped from jumping over a picnic table, fuck…did I really say that? I sat down heavily. The most kept secret since my abusive father, and I just spilled it to the one guy who I really didn't want to know. I buried my face in my hands. This is so not good. One: if there was one thing I knew it was that Kaiba did NOT like me that way. Two: if I didn't have the money to help my eyes what made me think that I'd have enough to look higher than dung in Kaiba's eyes and three: my life was fucked as much as it could be, why'd I have to make it worse?

A shadow was cast over me and I hesitantly looked up. Of course I knew who it was. I'd given him plenty of time to leave the school and come searching for me. why didn't I even look surprised?

Startling blue eyes pierce into mine as Kaiba held his hand out in offering.

"puppy, come with me." if he'd said it with even a hint of emotion I would have turned him down. I wasn't searching for his pity, even though it would be a miracle if he gave it to me. no, he said it with his self assured, cold and no-nonsense voice, that obviously got Mokiba to go to bed, or brush his teeth. I closed my eyes, felt my tired bones pressure me to take his hand. And I slowly opened me eyes, to look up at someone willing to help, why was I even considering this? I asked myself, because you love him.

I sighed with resignation and reached out to take his hand. "it's a good enough reason I suppose…"

Yasiko here, hope you like a write a reply!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Moving out.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu- Gi -Oh, because if I did, they'd all be doing something much more interesting then playing cards.

It's interesting that people always say 'the grass is greener on the other side'. I'd never really thought about that quote, it had never mattered much to me, because I had thought that I'd never be able to glimpse let alone eat the grass on the other side. But sitting in a limo, with Seto Kaiba, and my own mini bar, I realized that I was on the other side of the hill, surrounded by the grass I never though I'd get to eat.

"Mutt, stop staring at the bourbon, I'm not going to let you drink it."

I sighed and rolled my eyes, looking over at the grumpy CEO, who sat beside me.

"I'm not going to down my sorrows, moneybags. It ain't my style." Yeah like, I'd be able to afford to drink any way. Of course my dad somehow was able to do it, but I wasn't about to try.

"Mutt, after what happened today, I don't think I'm about to let up." He hissed and growling under his breath, he turned back to the window.

Oh, fricking great, I just made my savior angry…does that I mean I have to apologies? No freaking way, there is no way in the hell I'm apologizing to that overbearing, control freak of a man….no. way.

"Look, Kaiba, I'm….I'm sorry okay. I didn't mean to drag you into my personal life…if you pull over, I'll get out right now, so you won't have to-"I drifted off. I always had to contradict myself didn't I? I couldn't just make up my mind and then act on it. No! I had to act on my feelings, the stupid things that'll never leave me alone. Why couldn't I be more like Kaiba, with no emotions of cares? Why couldn't I have a mini bar with bourbon?

"So I won't what, mutt?"

I blinked out of my daydream of a naked Kaiba serving me a beer, and glanced over at him with a blush smeared across my nose.

"Uh…what?" Damn me and my forgetful mind.

Apparently he had had enough, because the next thing I new we were five centimeters apart, his icy cold eyes burrowing into mine with hatred akin to the anger of a vampire without blood.

"Stop fucking with me mutt!" he snapped, grabbing the collar of my shirt and pulling us closer, if that was possible. We were now three centimeters apart. And yes, I was counting.

He hadn't picked a very good way of getting my attention. If you were going to get a dog to focus do you shove its favorite food in its face? Yes, I know, I just called my self a dog, but that wasn't what I was getting at!

My eyes glued to his lips, I didn't reply, obviously my mind somewhere else. So he just raved on.

"First off, what the hell is going on? You were fine yesterday! What the hell could have happened to make such a drastic change? And what the hell was all that bull about not seeing and love!"

I felt like laughing. Yeah, I'd found out that I was going blind, and that I didn't have a hope in hell to get the money for the operation, and yeah I'd become a drama queen part way through class and broke out in tears, and that I'd mistakenly told the one guy I love that I liked him and I was gay, in a…round about way. But I was, at that very second, wrapped in his scent, his eyes on mine, his breath on my lips, and both our beating hearts, pounding as one. I was in heaven. A sort of twisted heaven where we really having another fight, but to me I was being hailed as an angel and given a gift for putting up with all the crap in my life.

His eyes dropped to my lips then back to my eyes. I knew it! he liked me! this is the best day of my life! Now all we needed was the perfect kiss and make-out scene, for my life to be complete.

Of course that's not how it turned out.

The next thing I new I was being thrown across the limo, with a freaked multi-billionaire glaring at me and a broken bottle of bourbon leaking into my pants.

Greaaat.

Obviously we have established it wasn't the favorite car ride of my life, actually it ranked in the 'never experience again' category. So after enduring sticky, damp, and _very_ uncomfortable jeans through the fifteen minutes of silence and death glares, I had decided it was best to just come out and say it.

"Kaiba, my pants are wet."

I had the sudden urge to bash my head into a brick wall. For some strange and unforeseen reason, what ever came out of my mouth, never seemed to be the thing I was planning on saying at that moment in time.

Okay, so after the argument that followed my little comment, we finally made it to Kaiba s house. To answer your questions, yes, I'd been there before, and yes, I had spent plenty of time admiring it. But no matter how many times I pulled up to the beautiful mansion, with all its glory, it seemed to catch my breath and steal it for scant seconds. Just the fact that this was where Kaiba lived, and he designed it, and loved it and…painted it blue, made me want to…. cry.

Yes cry, because I'd never see it again. In the next two weeks, I'd slowly drift from my vision, so, one day, I would wake up and look up to see the beauty that Kaiba called home…and it wouldn't be there.

"Mutt…what are you staring at?" Kaiba asked. He was obviously confused by my behavior, he had his arms crossed and a frown furrowed his brow. I wanted to kiss the wrinkles away. Another thing I would never experience.

I looked away from the glory of a house, and stared at my tattered shoes. From a jewel to a rock.

"Its nothing Kaiba, forget about it."

Hopefully I can do it too. Forget about all that what I will never see.

A crystal of a tear formed at the corner of my eyes and tracked its slow course down my face. Time to start a new chapter of my life, the one dedicated to Darkness.

Hope you liked, and will review, I love feedback. - yasiko


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: before the night**

Disclaimer: who wants to own Yu-Gi-Oh? I just want to own Kaiba. Leather, whips and candles are separate purchase's of course.

Dinner, was supposed to be an enjoyable meeting amongst family. Dinner was supposed to be gravy and potatoes and chicken. Dinner was supposed to be a pleasure filled experience.

But, sitting in front of a plate full of tofu and sushi, at a table ten feet long, with Kaiba at one end, and me at the other, silence hanging with a deadened tension in the air, dinner was everything but, what it was supposed to be.

I felt that I should say something, anything really, just to break the silence, but if I did I knew I would mess stuff up and end up out on my ass. Totally not somewhere I wanted to go. So I just sat there, poking the gross rice covered raw fish…thing, that I was expected to eat.

Kaiba was watching me, I knew it, I could feel the icy stare from across the ten foot table, an amazing feet in itself. He was probably trying to find out what was wrong. I was so proud I knew something that a multi-billionaire didn't. That my vision was slowly fading from view, and in the next two weeks, would go blind. A twisted way to boost my ego, but it worked.

I stabbed the tofu with my chopsticks, and jumped back when it bounced off the plate to crash to the floor with the light sound of 'blop'. My eyes wide I looked up at the one chuckling across the table from me. Oooooh, the prick had the galls to laugh at me…when I was making such an effort to eat this crap. I felt the anger burn and fizz behind my cheek bones, but told my self, that one day I would get him back, and force feed him a cheese burger.

No wonder the guy was so skinny and hot, he ate nothing but this….fat free….carb free… no actual taste….but somehow classified as food….. Crap!

Someday, I was going to show him the wonders of French fries, those sticks of deep fried goodness that must have been a gift from the angels.

"You know Kaiba, maybe there's a reason why tofu is classified as a plastic…." I grumble, not expecting him to hear me.

"In your dictionary maybe, but in real life, it's a healthy accepted dish, served on the best of tables."

The haughty answer only made me even more agitated. I had accepted my fate as a cripple, but did he really have to try and get me to eat this stuff…starvation is a better option than swallowing tofu! I stuck my lip out in a pout and stood up, pushing my plate away.

"I've just realized I'm not all that hungry. See you tomorrow Kaiba." I mumbled and, without looking him in the eyes, trudged out of the extensively too large dinning room.

When we had first entered the house, Kaiba had lead me to my room, a guest bedroom beside his, and then told me dinner was in five then disappeared into his bedroom, with a slam of his door. So I had set up, messing up the bed, opening the blinds and re arranging everything that was in it. Yes, I admit I was just trying to make it seem more like home, but really I was trying to waste time, seeing as how I have all the time in the world now.

So now I trudged up the large stairs, hands in my pockets, and head slouched, thinking on how much I would have to do to prepare myself in the two week period. I had to memorize the amount of stairs, scents of the different rooms and even the feel of everyone's face with my fingers.

26, there was 26 steps on the main stairs…damn…I have a lot of counting ahead of me….

Feeling really down and not to mention hungry I was about to push my way through my bedroom door, when a maid rushed past me, with a tray in hand. She glanced over her shoulder then skid to a stop, and rushed over to me. now here's to funny part, she was smiling, a maid who worked for Seto Kaiba was happy. She grabbed my hand and tugged, at this I tugged back, thinking she wanted to take me back to the tofu loving millionaire. She frowned and tugged back, a little harder. I wondered why she hadn't spoken yet, but passed it off as another stupid rule that Kaiba probably laid down. This time I let her drag me a little farter down the hall and we stopped at a door. She pushed it open to reveal a dark blue room, with a huge four poster bed with back silk sheets and a mural of a Chinese dragon on the far wall. Me eyes widened and I looked at the maid, she smiled again and handing me the tray shoved me through the door and slammed it behind me.

Then it hit me….ooooh! the conniving little snake of a maid! This was Kaiba's room! I took a hesitant step forward and looked around, finding it hard to see in the dark. I was starting to get curious, and I felt the need to snoop get harder and harder to resist as I made my way to the middle of the room. That was until I heard the handle turn. Now, I knew it wasn't my fault that I was in there, and it wasn't my fault that Kaiba and I really didn't like each other much, but thinking through what his reaction would be if he saw me, I freaked out, so with an eep! Of fear I dropped the tray and dove under the bed, just as the door swung open.

Surrounded by cold wood and rough carpet, and darkness, I could vaguely hear the irritated mumbling of Kaiba as he made his way into the room, slamming the door behind him. I could hear my breathing heavy in my ears the beat of my heart seemed to be so loud that I could barely tell if it was my heart or the sound that Kaiba's fist would be making on my head when he found me hiding under his bed.

"Bloody stupid mutt, gonna starve himself, damn confusing…..ARG!" I hid my snicker as I heard the clink of the metal tray being kicked away; obviously he had found his dinner the hard way…hehehe…..

Wait! Not the time to be taking humor in Kaiba's pain, I have to save that for later, maybe when I've gotten him tied to the bed with red silk scarves…hmmmm….that sounds nice……

"Who's in here?" Kaiba's booming voice demanded from the middle of the room, and my fantasy evaporated.

"Uh…no one?" I replied without thinking, yet again that day I felt the need to bash my head against something hard, stupid mouth!

Shit…this is so not good.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: Bedroom Brawls**

Disclaimer: do you have any idea how old this is getting? And do I really have to say it?

Yes, i was an idiot. And yes, maybe i did deserve the nickname 'mutt', I mean I was under his bloody bed, I'd say that's grounds to be upset, but really, this was going over board, just a bit, right? I thought as I was roughly dragged, not with out much resistance mind you, out from under the large bed and thrown up against a wall.

Now, being pinned against a wall by Seto Kaiba is a VERY appealing thought, I just had never really thought about it being done like this, with his hand around my throat and my face slowly turning blue.

"what the HELL are you doing in my fucking room!" he growled, and with each word squeezing his hand harder around my throat.

"crr-pht…aaa" I croaked out, knowing I didn't make sense, and not really caring much. I had most of my attention focused on my breathing and the lack thereof. What I had tried to say was 'I don't know', but apparently he hadn't quite gotten it, because he just gave me a quizzical look. I felt like tearing something apart, or breathing, the latter preferably.

I rolled my eyes, and with weakening arms I pointed at his hand that was wrapped around my neck.

His eyes widened with realization and he released his tight grip.

My hand now around my neck, rubbing the sore flesh, I shot his a pouting glare. Fuck that hurt, now I regret ever thinking about it in a sexual way, now I thought of it for grounds of 'fucking payback'.

"God damn it Kaiba! What the hell was that for!" I hissed through the bruised and tight confines of my throat.

"You're in MY room, under MY bed, and asking ME, what the hell I'M doing!" he hissed, his hand squeezing into a tight fist he brought it up threateningly above my head.

And then a light bulb came on. One of those cute little animated ones that pop up above your head when you suddenly have a brilliant idea. And what a brilliant idea it was. My lips twisted into a malicious smirk, and before Kaiba could do anything, I leaped at him, tackling him to the ground. See, my idea was incredible. I could touch Kaiba, and still have him not creped out! I suddenly felt then need to giggle. I pushed the stupid girly thought away.

So now we were rolling around on the ground, my hands trying to grip his hair, so I could pound his head against the ground. And his hands wrapped around my hips, trying to yank me off him. Just think, if anyone came in, they'd think we were making-out. Yet again I felt the need to giggle. And again I pushed it away. The stupid things you had to live with for being a closet gay.

"Get…the…fucking…hell….off me!" he growled, tugging at my pants, hoping that I would let go. Of course I didn't, I don't pass up these kinds of opportunities and if you know someone who would, tell them they're a moron.

"Not... In…this lifetime!" I hissed, tightening my hands in his hair, and yanking up, making him wince with pain. I grinned at my accomplishment.

He suddenly stopped moving. Wondering why I looked down and met cold scared blue eyes. We were less that an inch away, me breathing his air, he breathing mine. I was straddling his hips, and with his arms wrapped tightly around my hips, it brought us very, _very_ close. My eyes dropped closed, just barely open, and my gaze went from his lips to his eyes, in a very suggestive manner. He drew in a quick breath and I saw his eyes drop closed. I leaned closer, hoping that I had aimed right, when suddenly a rattle and a bright light filled the previously dark room.

We both turned our faces towards the sound at the same time, Kaiba had his head tilted up, and I sat up a bit. Then I swore. A lot.

There stood Yugi, in all his short glory. His innocent eyes wide open, and his hand still on the sliver doorknob, he blinked once, and then slowly closed the door.

Aw fuck.

Yet again I felt the soaring feeling of being thrown across a room, only this time, I landed heavily onto silk sheets and a downy comforter, rather than a hard wall.

"Y….Yugi?" i called out into the darkness.

"Shut it mutt." I heard Kaiba hiss beside me, and then his footsteps as he went to the door and yanked it open. There stood Yugi, blinking repeatedly, as if he wanted to clear his eyes of something. I sheepishly thought about what he had just seen and didn't blame the poor guy for not wanting to see it again.

Kaiba snapped his fingers in front of Yugi's face, and the guy glanced up at Kaiba in fear,

"i…i'm sorry for in-interrupting K-Kaiba, the maid s-said that Jou was here and….." his eyes slide over to me then, snapped back to Kaiba, " I'll…I'll be going n-now…" and he walked away.

I felt so sorry for the little dude at that moment, first his best friend won't talk to him, then said best friend blows up at entire class has mental breakdown, and after trashing a bathroom window, runs away with Seto Kaiba. Upon finally finding friend, sees him in a compromising position with another bloke.

Damn I've certainly fucked this up haven't I. I started another chapter of my life, and forgot to tell my best friend. Way to go Jou.

I buried my face in my hands, and drew in a deep breath. Time to start lying again.

"what the hell was that pup?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six : Loss of Words**

(Disclaimer: you've heard it all before, but if you need a recap, I don't own Yu- Gi- Oh.)

"What the hell was that pup?"

Clearly he was asking me a question. You and I could see that. But at that moment in time, all I noticed was that he called me pup. So I replied the same way I normally do under stress. Without thought.

"We almost kissed."

Yet again, obvious.

I was looking up at him, with him halfway across the room and his eyes scanning the room, his eyes landing anywhere but me.

"I meant Yugi, Jou. We'll talk about that later."

My heart sank, along with my stomach and I felt it twist in pain. He was going to tell me he didn't like me that way, and that if I put him in that situation again he'd throw me out. I felt more depressed than I'd ever felt before, more that when I cried in the alleyway, and when I screamed in the washroom, and when I sat at the dinner table. I wanted to go back to hiding under his bed, and stay there for eternity. But instead I looked up at him, and hardened my heart.

"No." I said it with more courage than I really had, and any one with eyes could tell that.

"What?" he hissed, his anger over coming him yet again.

"No, we aren't going to talk about this. What you and Yugi both want to know, I'm never going to tell you!"

"Pup, whatever's wrong, I'll pay someone to fix. Just tell me what's wrong."

"You'll pay someone?" I sneered with a wrinkled nose. I felt the pain of his comment morph into hate, and I stood up, my eyes burning with fury.

"You'll pay someone? You egotistical bastard, how dare you. You think you can just throw around money and expect things to happen. Well guess what. This is one person who won't be tinkered with like some stupid gadget that has a flaw."

I waved furiously around the room, at his collection of chips and robotic crap, then I pointed at my heart, and the tears streaming down my face fell onto my lips. I didn't, now that I look back on it, know how much what I was saying must hurt him, and he only told me till later on in both our lives, but at that time, this wasn't what I really truly felt. In my heart I wanted to crawl into his arms, and spill my hearts wishes and blood upon his hands, so he would understand what I was going through, no matter how cruel or unwanted this information may have been. I wanted him to kiss my forehead, and tell me that no matter how different I was, or what happened, he would always love me.

"I'm Jou. Broken. Sick. And blind. And if you think that fixing me will help, then your sorely mistaken, you fix the train set but it never runs the way it used to. I'll never be the same Jou!"

He stared at me in shock, as if I had just told him that his brother was a stripper, and he had a wife back in Canada.

"Your what?" he crocked, his shock making his voice go deeper, because, despite my anger towards him, the sound made a shiver climb its way down my back.

I froze as I went over what I had said.

I told him.

God no.

I jumped back and looking around wildly, while hyperventilating, I backed my self into the corner, with him closing in one me. To run for the door I had to get through him, and I knew that would be impossible.

My thoughts went crazy, they had no order or rhyme, and they just rushed past me. He stared at me with such pain, as if he couldn't bear to see me in such a state.

"Jou, speak to me."

I just shook my head and buried my face into my hands. I couldn't deal with this. It was to sudden, I hadn't planned on telling him until the day before being admitted to the hospital. After I had told him I loved him. Gods, it wasn't fair.

When life throws you lemons, throw them right back. I used to say, but I flt like I was suddenly in a batting cage, and the launcher had been turned on. A ball hits my leg, my mother left me, leaving me with no support from her. Another ball hits my other leg, my father gets sent to jail for harassment to a prostitute, leaving me with out money support. A ball hits my face, I will, in two weeks time, lose my eye sight. A ball hits my heart, I will lose the one love I have ever cherished. a ball hits my stomach, I lose the trust of my best friend. Someday, I will lose everything, and on that day, I will lose my soul.

He edged closer to me, and kneeled. He took my hands, and gently pulled them away from my face.

"Say it." he demanded. I really didn't know what he was asking of me. I was so confused. But I had a vague feeling he wanted me to tell him straight out, what was wrong.

"I can't." I sobbed harder. It was just too much. I had closed this chapter; I didn't want to reread it. unfortunately I had left Yugi and Kaiba back in the other chapter, and now, I had to go get them.

"Yes you can. Say it pup."

I took a deep breath, and with it shuddering out of me, I whispered the thing I had yet believe myself.

"I-I'm going blind, Kaiba."

(thisisialinethisisaline)

Yasiko: so sorry it took so long. Report card time, had to make a good impression on my mom.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven: locked doors**

(well, you know what they say…no really you know what I'm about to say so just forget it…rolls eyes)

"I-I'm going blind, Kaiba."

Things seemed to freeze the second I said this. The tears stopped flowing, my heart stopped beating, the tension of the moment disappeared, and Kaiba, well he stopped staring at me with that look of pure horror.

I'd done some really horrible things in my life, most unintentional, but all the same, I'd beaten up Yugi, I left my father to rot in jail, I lied to myself and everyone around me, and now, I'd killed Kaiba.

I weakly waved my hand in front of his eyes, and snapped my fingers.

Yep, I'd killed the CEO of a Multibillion dollar company.

He didn't even blink, which freaked me out even more, because I though I was the one going through a mental breakdown. I leaned forward a bit a whispered, hoping in hell that he'd actually respond to me.

"K-Kaiba?... T-Take your time…just…let me know when you feel like breathing...okay?"

He stood up suddenly and with barely a glance at me stormed out of the room.

This wasn't one of the many things that was on my list of 'what to expect'. So I, shaking with a violent tremble, stumbled off of my knees and stood, holding onto the wall for support. I felt so weak and girly, but the pain that had been on my chest for the past day finally left, leaving me so I could breathe without struggle without fear that it would be the last. I could relate to the saying ' the weight of the world on your shoulders' for once.

The last thing I wanted was to be kicked out of the house, but as I pushed my way towards the doorway, I tripped and stumbled on a table I hadn't seen which in turn made some very loud crashing and broken glass sounds. It was too dark for me to see clearly but apparently I'd broken something of value.

Shit.

I decided what was done, was done, and if I had to go back to my apartment later on so be it. I had a very angry CEO to deal with and not all that much time. So I continued my way down stairs.

thisisalinethisisalinethisisaline

when I made my way downstairs I came upon a very funny sight, well, for me at that moment at least.

Kaiba was standing in the hallway, his cell phone practically glued to his ear. And of course, him screaming into it.

" I don't give a shit who the hell I'm talking to, you could be a bloody janitor for all I care, I want this done, and I want it done **now**!"

After that he threw the phone down, and it burst into pieces on the marble floor.

Maybe now wasn't a good time to talk to him…..

"Jou! What are you doing here, go back to bad!" he growled at me taking me by the forearm and steering back the way I came,

"What are you talking about, I wasn't in bed…" I said frowning at the way he was acting, really where was the real Kaiba and, was duck tape and rope involved?

"Well go to bed, and stay there until the doctor comes."

"Doctor? what the hell Kaiba. I'm not meeting with my doctor until next week!"

"Not your doctor moron, your new one, that's going to fix your eyes." Everything he said was with a clipped and snobbish tone, as if he new what was best for me, and I was a little dumb kid.

I froze, "What?"

He tugged on my arm again, "go to bed Jou."

I yanked my arm free and stumbled back on shaky knees. How could this happen, how could he be so narrow minded? Was he not listening to me before?

"Now Jou-" He began, getting a angry tone in his voice.

"Get the fuck away from me!" I screamed, tears, yet again, falling from my eyes, I turned around and tripping on my own feet, ran out of the front entrance way.

"_Jou wait!"_

thisisalinethisisalinethisisaline

Everything was a blur to me, pale walls, and marble floors, clashed together to mingle with my tears, no matter how hard I ran I still heard him calling after me, telling me I had to lie down, and that I was sick, that the doctor would be here soon. I sobbed my through the house, past the kitchen, a living room, a computer room, every time I forced a door open I locked it behind me, till I was in a broom closet, wailing into the cleaning supplies. I pinched myself, hoping to god that this was a dream, and that when I wake up, Kaiba will be holding me, telling me that no matter what, he would love me.

Lets just say…. That wasn't about to happen…

"Open this god damn door before I break you out of their and tie you to the bed!"

Yeah, not gonna happen.

"As appealing as that sounds Kaiba I only have two words for you, FUCK OFF." I said wiping the tears off my cheeks and nose with the back of my hand.

"Bloody hell Jou, all I'm trying to do is help you, why do you keep blowing up at me!"

"Because your trying to fix something that I don't want fixed."

I had never actually admitted this to myself, and I drew in a breath as I realized what I had just said.

"What the fuck, you want to be blind?"

"No, I want to be me."

What the hell does that mean?"

Was he daft? I stood up keeping a tight grip on a broom handle to keep me standing, " theN why don't you GO AWAY and figure it out for yourself!"

There was a tense pause, and I felt it built like when your ears are about to pop.

"….fine….whatever…." and then I was left with the click of his shoes on the marble.

I tried to suppress the thought, I really did, but it filled my mind and slipped from my mouth.

" is he wearing heels?"

Two minutes later there was a yell and then,

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight: Cracks in the Doors**

(disclaimer: of god damn it, I don't own bloody Yu-Gi-Oh, got it?)

Note to reviewers: I appreciate your support and insight, but I absolutely hate it when authors waste page space on answering the reviews, so to not be a hypocrite I won't do it either.

but I do have one reply, to Dragonlady222: your idea is understandable but, there is no actual common sense that is universal, so what you think is right could be quite different to another person. Think of it this way, Jou, wants to be Jou, and in his mind, if he's fixed, then he won't be who he was meant to be, he believes this to be destiny. His sister was different in his mind...I guess, I never really thought about it like that when I wrote this, I like the idea of a blind Jou, it adds to the effect of touch and taste and smell, and it heightens my writing skills from moving to hard subjects, such as emotions that I have never actually felt.

I didn't understand why I had reacted so violently, why it was such a big deal to me that Kaiba only wanted to fix me, and not like me even if I was defective. Why I longed inside to feel what it was like to be blind, to know my destiny. But what I did understand was that I was hiding for the issue, I mean honestly, who hides in a closet in another persons house at 10 at night?

Of course I just had to pick the smallest room possible, I couldn't have chosen a roomy plush bedroom, or a stocked pantry, no, I picked the room with the smelly mop and spilled cleaner on the floor, which currently was sticking and soaking into my freshly changed pants.

I was absolutely positive even if I left the closet; Kaiba would kick me out any way, so decided to make myself known to my new room. I reached up and pulled the cord to turn on the small hanging light bulb. The light flickered on and illuminated the small disorganized broom closet I had escaped into. There were some cluttered shelves, and many brooms shoved higgily-piggily around the floor, I was even sitting a couple mop heads.

I sat for a second thinking this through, then suddenly jumped up, disgusted with what now covered my clothing.

" oh gross!" I hissed and dusted the bottom of my pants off, then realized that it was now on my hands and whined while shaking them around, trying in childish vain to get the invisible grossness off my hands.

While jumping around I hit me head on the lip of one of the shelves and drew in a hiss of pain from between clenched teeth. I reached around to feel the tender spot and hit my elbow against the wall, and whimpered in pain as I spun around, hitting my forehead against the shelf, I reeled back in shock and got my foot caught in a mop bucket, it slid across the floor, disrupting my balance, and reaching out for anything to hold onto I grabbed the light cord.

I collapsed to the floor, blowing the bulb, and bashing my head and back against the solid wood door. Engulfed in darkness with a sparking open wire, and entirely too many bruises, I groaned clutching my head as a squeezed my eyes shut.

" ooh, that hurt…" I crooned to myself, curling into a ball on the wet and dirty floor.

Then the wall from behind me disappeared, my eyes popped open and as a yelped and fell backwards, I decided that by then end of the night I'd voluntarily bash my head against a wall, it seemed like it would hurt less.

My head hit the floor with a thud and I groaned.

"Ready to come out yet?"

I nodded and reached up, gripped the arm held out for me and was hauled up. An arm wrapped itself around my waist.

Of course I would have instantly jumped up and accursed him of being a bastard and run away, if I wasn't currently seeing spots, bright yellow, and hot pink ones, flashing across my vision.

"How'd you open the door?" I said shaking my head, trying to clear it, and only making it worse.

" I went up stairs and got a key, dumb-ass, now look in my eyes and tell me what you see."

I did, or at least, I tried, when I glanced over at him a giant bright pink blob seemed to be in my way, without thought I tried to way it away, obviously unsuccessfully.

" what the hell are you doing? Just tell me how many fingers I'm holding up!"

"I can't." I wailed slumping down, and covered my eyes, " your pink."

"I'm what?"

"your pink." I said a little louder.

He gently let me go, and I stood on shaky legs, I wasn't looking, so when a gentle touch, brushed the back of my head, right where it hurt I hissed in pain, and reeled away from him, blocking the back of my head with my hands and spinning around.

" ahhh! Don't do that!" I moaned, squeezing my eyes shut and shuddering with pain.

I heard a chuckle sound and felt that unmistakable anger bubble up.

" oooh, yeah, this is just soooo funny to you, Kaiba, ain't it?" I said peeking over at him through one eye. He was brushing off his jacket of invisible dust, an obvious gesture meaning ' I'm laughing at you on the inside.' Because his chin was tucked down and his hair was swept over his face.

I hissed at him, turned on my heel, and marched away with as much dignity a semi-blind, naturally clumsy, teenage boy could summon.

Thisisalinethisisalinethisisaline

I let him prop me up in bed, and pull the blankets up around my shoulders, while I held an ice pack to the back of my skull.

" because your such an idiot and have gotten your self in this position without any help from me, I figure its only right that I should help someone in such need as you, you poor moronic boy you." He said in a soothingly fake voice, and he fluffed the pillows behind me.

"Now get some sleep, and when you wake up I'll help you bandage your head up, we don't want that walnut of your to fall out do we?"

I growled at him, resisting the boiling urge to strangle him with my bed sheets. Had to of course, murder was illegal after all, and who would I drool all over, if he was gone?

I satisfied myself with sticking my tongue out at him, and giving him the finger while he turned his back to turn off the lights.

In the pitch black of the room, I heard the click of his heels get closer, and suddenly though he just might strangle _me_ with my _own_ bed sheets.

Then I felt the feather light touch of him brush my hair away from my forehead, and a light kiss on my cheek, then he turned away and left the room, with the deafening click of the door closing…and locking.

I reached up and lightly brushed the spot where his kiss burned into my skin, and with a satisfied and smug grin I snuggled under the covers and drifted off into the much needed sleep of oblivion, with the whispered words to myself sending me off, " I need a shower…"

(looking! I didn't end it with a cliffy for once! Aren't you proud! -yasiko)


End file.
